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Break Free from Your Fears

Rejection is a natural aspect of dating and everyone experiences it one way or another. Don’t let your fear of rejection stop you from dating successfully! Learn how to channel it into something positive with these tips.

By April Zara Chua

Know your self-worth

Don’t take rejection personally. It can happen to anyone at any stage of the dating process and it’s not a reflection of who you are or what you did. Perhaps the other party wasn’t ready for a serious commitment or did not take the time to get to know you to see your best qualities. Whatever the reason is, be confident of your own worth and remain true to yourself.

Next time, try this - A person who doesn’t value you probably isn’t right for you in the first place. Acknowledge and face your feelings but move on from this knowing that there will be someone who will see your worth and value it. Learn from this experience and take it as an opportunity for self-improvement.

Kill self-doubt and control what you can

Do you feel that your appearance, income, occupation, or social standing doesn’t make you attractive enough? Self-doubt can hinder and prevent you from putting yourself out there. Free yourself from this negative cycle by learning how to address your own insecurities and rid your fear of rejection and self-judgement. You can never change what’s beyond your control so start by focusing on things that you can control, such as your attitude towards yourself.

Next time, try this - Boost your confidence by changing what you can and not worrying about those you can’t. If you are an introvert and find yourself often tongue-tied, you can also sign up for public speaking classes or personal development workshops to help build confidence and improve your social skills!


Know the difference: Helpful vs hurtful remarks

Part of getting to know new people is understanding how they express their thoughts and intentions. Ever had an experience where you took offence when they were merely stating a neutral opinion? Misinterpretation can lead to false belief that you are being turned down (when you’re not). Hence, it’s important to learn how to differentiate between fair criticism, mere opinions, and hurtful remarks to save yourself unnecessary distress.

Next time, try this - When in doubt, instead of jumping to conclusions, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification or a detailed explanation. Context is important. This not only shows that you are paying attention, but will also encourage the other party to give deeper and more thoughtful responses.

Be nice when turning someone down

There might even be a time where you will be the one turning someone down. Remember the old saying, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.!

Next time, try this - There’s no easy way to do it, but avoid ghosting them or going missing in action. Be honest but kind and respectful, and never string someone along if you have no intention of pursuing the relationship.

Step out of your comfort zone

We tend to learn and grow best when westep out of our comfort zones. Set small, realistic goals that will encourage you to consistently experience something new. For example, by widening your network, you’ll have more opportunities to socialise and meet new people.

Next time, try this - Start off with something as simple as saying hi to someone you’re sharing a table with, or participating in a social activity you wouldn’t normally take part in. You might find yourself making new friends and taking up new hobbies.

Conquering your fears will take time and courage, but remember, it’s all about taking baby steps! And don’t forget to be open to new possibilities and opportunities – you owe it to yourself!