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8 Steps to Long-Lasting Relationships

How do couples stay together for much longer than a decade? What's the secret to their longevity?

Stony Brook University psychologist K Daniel O'Leary and his research team set out to answer these questions, and the results were surprising. The study was done on couples who have been together for at least 10 years, and looked into what kept them married and in love for so long. The couples were asked behaviour-based questions so as to reduce bias. The findings, published on the social and personality journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, revealed these main factors: 

  1. Thinking positively about your partner 

By constantly thinking about the things that make your partner awesome, you won't be irritated by the negatives. 


  1. Thinking about your partner when apart 

Not every second, of course. But he/she should at least cross your mind at some point. 


  1. Difficulty concentrating on other things when thinking about your partner 

It means your partner takes up a lot of your brain space, which is a good thing! 


  1. Enjoying novel and challenging activities 

Taking on challenges with your spouse can improve your love for him/her.


  1. Spending time together 

This strengthens your emotional bonds with each other. 


  1. Expressing affection 

Let him/her know, in one way or another, that you love him/her. 


  1. Feeling generally happy

Emotional distress has been known to cause relationship issues, so try to stay happy. 


  1. Having a strong passion for life 

People who are enthusiastic about living their lives are known to carry that zeal into their relationships. 


This article was first published on DUET magazine.