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Popping the Question

Wondering how to take that next big step in your relationship? Before you get down on one knee, here’s how to maximise your chances of getting your other half to say ‘yes’.

By Sam David

Convinced you’ve found The One? And there’s nothing you’d like more than to spend the rest of your life with him or her? Then it may well be the time to pop the question. Before you plan the big move, here’s what you need to know.

Be certain you’re both on the same page. Have you at least hinted at or discussed the topic of marriage with your other half? If it looks like they aren’t quite ready to take the plunge yet, don’t be discouraged. Waiting to pop the question is not a bad thing, especially if you’re trying to time the proposal perfectly.

Plus, it might give you both a chance to get to know each other even better, which can reveal whether you share similar values – a critical factor some couples don’t think to talk about before they tie the knot. Some things to consider include attitudes towards raising kids (or if you both plan to have kids at all), running a household, saving for the future, and differences in the way you communicate.

Make sure your life is in order. If you’re going to start this new (and very important) phase with someone, you definitely don’t want to be wrestling with any major issues or other unresolved personal matters. Remember: when it comes to a successful marriage, stability is crucial. Issues like big outstanding debts and relocation possibilities due to career or family will affect your future as a married couple.

Speak to the parents first. It may seem like an outdated step to take, but approaching the parents to ask for your spouse-to-be’s hand in marriage has a lot to do with respect and showing one’s genuineness. Yes, it can be a nerve-racking experience, but once they see that you’re sincere in your intentions and want nothing but the best for their daughter, you’ll be glad you went that extra mile to speak to them first before popping the question. Do ask them to keep it a secret though!

Ladies, keep in mind that it’s also important that you make the effort to get to know your partner’s parents. This demonstrates how much their son means to you and it also shows your desire to be part of the family.

Think about the little details. Proposing to your partner is a big deal, and while it may be easy to get caught up with the big picture, don’t forget the small things that will make this a truly memorable occasion. Take the time to go over details like their personality – this will determine the proposal setting, whether it be a grand gesture with friends and family, or small and intimate with just the two of you; the location, or even the time you choose to propose. Ask yourself if there was anything special that the two of you did in the relationship, or were there any significant milestones and where did it take place. Is there a day or period that is symbolic or meaningful to you both? You know your other half well enough to pick out the things that really matter, so get cracking!