Finding love – the millennial style
Does love come easy to millennials? Facts show that the tech-savvy, fast-moving ‘Generation Y’ wants to fall in love, but it takes them time to find the right one. They have a different style of forming and sustaining connections, which seems to be working well. We speak to relationship experts, who share some simple strategies for millennials to keep in mind when looking for the perfect partner.
By Preeti Parashar
Technology – the game changer for millennial love
The generation that grew up on technology, relies on it even more to initiate and maintain romantic relationships. Digital communication through texting and chatting on online platforms pave the way for them to create sparks. But does being technophiles help millennials find love that lasts? Maybe not.
Deon Chan, managing director of Singapore-based dating agencies Love Express Services and Divine Connect responds, “It’s important to recognise that although technology has advanced and distractions are ubiquitous, human beings remain the same in terms of their needs for face-to-face connections, as well as being loved and appreciated.” She adds further, “You have to be open towards meeting different people and forging new friendships face-to-face.” You never know when love strikes you!
Jenny Ng, founder of DatingMoments.com agrees, “Indeed, millennials’ legion is one bombarded with excess. Everything is in your face, vying for attention. It’s true that young people have a lot more options now as their world becomes more connected with the presence of technology. But love is a fundamental emotion that is meant to be felt and not taught. It’s about sharing life experiences, the endless number of routes to take, each leading to a different outcome and eventuality.”
Quick tip: Be in the present moment to build real time romantic bonds.
Why millennials delay long-term relationships?
“There is always someone better out there, so why settle now?” - such a common philosophy among millennials might delay their chances of finding true love sooner in life. Ms Chan shares, “Procrastination is one significant problem in anchoring a new relationship for this generation. Don’t wait too long to act or make up your mind, else you’ll miss your big chance and regret it.”
Trends show millennials prioritise career and work-life balance, hence, defer marriage. Searching for the perfect one is also another big reason for them to not commit to a life-long relationship easily.
Ms Ng sahres, “Millennials slowly grow through their life experiences. But as you get to meet more people, you adjust your expectations with reality or risk losing many potential opportunities for love to blossom. Over time, you will come to learn that a perfect partner/person does not exist.”
So what should millennials look for? Experts suggest seeking a romantic partner who can be an equal in every sphere – professionally, as a co-parent (if you want children), and as your best friend, who can make you happy. Being in true love, you can still retain your sense of independence when you find someone like this.
Quick Tip - Instead of looking for perfection, try to look for someone who loves to learn and improve themselves, possesses passion for life, and is courageous to snap up good opportunities and try out new ventures.
Believe it or not, the top thing that majority of millennials struggle with is their inability to connect deeply with their romantic companion.
Ms Ng opines that with a world so fixated on popularity and physical attraction, it is no wonder that youngsters have shifted priorities. “The best way for youths to seek deeper meaning from love and relationships is simply to undergo the test of time and adversity,” she says. “When you face real world challenges, wisdom will come to seek for a love of more substance and you’ll learn to appreciate the person who’s always there cheering you on, through life's ups and downs,” Ms Ng adds.
Ms Chan advises millennials not to be afraid of delving deeper into conversations even if the topics are difficult or sensitive. She explains, “It’s important that such topics are not ignored. Set a time to discuss these issues and confront any unhappiness and misunderstandings early in your relationship. Not letting problems fester, helps build a strong bond. Most often, your partner would appreciate you for asking difficult questions because it helps him or her in the long run.”
Quick tip: Avoid engaging in "guessing game" and "cold war" which are unhealthy for a long-term relationship. Talk it out with your significant other.
Unique in their approach to finding love, millennials, on meeting someone who matches their interests and is compatible for life, should make conscious efforts for a healthy, happy, and loving romantic relationship.