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Spot the signs – finding the right personality match
How can you tell if someone is going to be interested in you? It’s easier when you know how to read the character traits of the other person. Let’s see how different personality types might express positive vibes, and how you can attract the right one for you.
By Preeti Parashar
Start profiling
Getting to know someone fully can take a lifetime. If you want to fast-track this process, try using a profiling tool – a common practice among online dating agencies these days. First, determine what personality type you are. Next, discover what kind of person will be most compatible with you. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?
A tool such as Enneagram can help you peep into the ego structure of the other person. Besides ‘what’ somebody is like, it gives you the ‘why’ behind that behaviour and its core motivation. Once you understand the reasons, you can better chat somebody up.
How does Enneagram work?
Enneagram derived its name from the Greek words ennea (meaning nine) and grammos (meaning a written symbol), collectively meaning ‘nine-points’ or nine personality types. This powerful tool helps identify nine different strategies to deal with each personality type, understanding their behaviour and aligning to the personality type that appeals to you the most. Making you more aware about yourself and the world around, it helps in building relationships and expanding one’s social circle.
What’s your type?
As per Enneagram, a person can be any one of these nine personality types - the perfectionist Reformer (type 1), caring and generous Helper (type 2), pragmatic and success-driven Achiever (type 3), sensitive and withdrawn Individualist (type 4), deep-thinker and innovative Investigator (type 5), security-seeking Loyalist (type 6), fun-loving and spontaneous Enthusiast (type 7), dominating and decisive Challenger (type 8) and easy-going and receptive Peacemaker (type 9).
Which one best describes your type? Being aware of the characteristics of these personas helps you explore new things. You will know if you have unrealistic expectations of the other person and you are not mispositioning yourself to attract someone who will not reciprocate.
Let’s find out more about 3 of the personality types:
The Investigator/Observer (Type 5)
Traits – Intelligent, logical, wise, philosopher and objective. The need to perceive drives them. Straight forward in approach, they don’t share much as they love conserving energy and take a longer time to warm up. You would find them guarded and not volunteering much information until asked. Men who are the observer type are much admired.
How to gauge their interest – The way to know if they are interested in you is to observe when they explain a bit more about themselves and respond to you more than usual. Remember, they may not still be too energetic but they’ll spend some extra time or make an effort to communicate with you.
Key to attract them – Establish an intellectual connection and not an emotional one. Lead them in expressing themselves. Be specific when you discuss things and take it forward.
The Enthusiast (Type 7)
Traits – Joyful, charming, energetic and innovative. Has the need to avoid pain, so may not be comfortable confronting anybody. Always on the look-out for the next exciting thing to do and can be totally non-compliant.
How to gauge their interest – When they open up and share something which they usually won’t with you, that’s the sign that they like/love you. They will be more serious when they discuss painful topics and want to come out of it by sharing it with someone close.
Key to attract them – Be there to listen to them and help them tackle the pain together.
The Challenger (Type 8)
Traits – Also known as the Boss, they like to make things difficult for others. They have the need for control. Surprisingly, type 8 is the most sought after guy, as the girls feel a sense of security and protection with them. Natural leaders, they have an influencing body language.
How to gauge their interest – Being the fastest moving type, they’ll be quick in expressing their feelings to you. Engaging you in small arguments and challenging you, is their way of showing that they like you.
Key to attract them – Reposition yourself to match their frequency and handle the aggression. Staying calm under conflicting circumstances can help. If you are a high mastery type 8 – use your energy to empower them and make them fall for your strong aura.
Relationships are a constant learning process, so there’s no absolute science to these methods. Keep trying to better understand your own personality traits and look more closely at others to see what clicks best for you. Check out this link to find out more about each of the nine personality types - https://relationshipstudio.sg/about/about-the-enneagram/.