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The Dating Game

We've all experienced this before.

You are having a pleasant conversation with someone who tells you, at length, about her cat (named Baby) and her favourite pastime (a day at the beach). Up to this point, the conversation goes swimmingly, and you are feeling pretty good about yourself. Then she turns her attention to you and asks, "Well, what do you do for fun?" You start to talk about how you are a Paragon Level 20 Witch Doctor on Diablo 3, how you've seen the extended edition of The Lord of the Rings trilogy 42 times before losing count, and that you own 1:100 sculptures of all the Star Wars characters from the original trilogy.

At this point, you notice her eyes glazing over and, deep inside, you suspect that you're simply not cut out for dating.

Here's the thing: you're wrong. There is a common misunderstanding that the dating game just doesn't come naturally to brainy science enthusiasts, gamers and comic collectors. However, even a natural ladies' man can learn a thing or two about how the opposite gender operates. Think of it this way: the harder it is to find your soul mate, the more special he or she will be – yes, just like rare items in a video game.

Find your niche

It doesn't matter if it is TV shows, comic books or photography. We are all passionate about one thing or another, and it is up to you to decide what they are. If you are into video games, then focus your attention on finding someone who shares the same interest.

Find your comfort zone

Once you've found your niche, you need to get comfortable with who you are and how you function socially. Are you outgoing? Do you like being the centre of attention? Becoming comfortable with your disposition is the first step to finding someone who accepts you for who you are.

Find your hangout

If you are a comic book lover, then the latest drinking hot spot is probably the wrong place to hang out. On top of being comfortable with yourself, you have to be comfortable with the environment. so go where your tribe members go. Here's a pro tip: comic book shops frequently organise tabletop gaming nights, and that is usually when people who love science fiction. fantasy or tabtetop gaming congregate.

Find a common ground

The best way to strike up a conversation is to find a common ground. Even if the two of you disagree on certain itty-bitty details, such as whether Kirk or Picard was the better captain on Star Trek, at least the TV show remains a common ground for the two of you. The key is to do more listening than talking.

Find the non-cliché location

Taking her to the movies on a first date is cliché for a number of reasons. One, you cannot learn anything about her by watching a movie. Two, it is what everybody else does on first dates. If the both of you harbour, say, a love for science, then head to a science-themed exhibition in town! It will show you're creative and that you paid attention to her interests.


This article was first published on DUET magazine.