The Dating Game
We've all experienced this before.
You are having a pleasant conversation with someone
who tells you, at length, about her cat (named Baby) and her favourite pastime (a
day at the beach). Up to this point, the conversation goes swimmingly, and you are
feeling pretty good about yourself. Then she turns her attention to you and asks,
"Well, what do you do for fun?" You start to talk about how you are a Paragon Level
20 Witch Doctor on Diablo 3, how you've seen the extended edition of The Lord of
the Rings trilogy 42 times before losing count, and that you own 1:100 sculptures
of all the Star Wars characters from the original trilogy.
At this point, you notice her eyes glazing over and,
deep inside, you suspect that you're simply not cut out for dating.
Here's the thing: you're wrong. There is a common misunderstanding
that the dating game just doesn't come naturally to brainy science enthusiasts,
gamers and comic collectors. However, even a natural ladies' man can learn a thing
or two about how the opposite gender operates. Think of it this way: the harder
it is to find your soul mate, the more special he or she will be – yes, just
like rare items in a video game.
Find your niche
It doesn't matter if it is TV shows, comic books or
photography. We are all passionate about one thing or another, and it is up to you
to decide what they are. If you are into video games, then focus your attention
on finding someone who shares the same interest.
Find your comfort zone
Once you've found your niche, you need to get comfortable
with who you are and how you function socially. Are you outgoing? Do you like being
the centre of attention? Becoming comfortable with your disposition is the first
step to finding someone who accepts you for who you are.
Find your hangout
If you are a comic book lover, then the latest drinking
hot spot is probably the wrong place to hang out. On top of being comfortable with
yourself, you have to be comfortable with the environment. so go where your tribe
members go. Here's a pro tip: comic book shops frequently organise tabletop gaming
nights, and that is usually when people who love science fiction. fantasy or tabtetop
gaming congregate.
Find a common ground
The best way to strike up a conversation is to find
a common ground. Even if the two of you disagree on certain itty-bitty details,
such as whether Kirk or Picard was the better captain on Star Trek, at least the
TV show remains a common ground for the two of you. The key is to do more listening
than talking.
Find the non-cliché location
Taking her to the movies on a first date is cliché
for a number of reasons. One, you cannot learn anything about her by watching a
movie. Two, it is what everybody else does on first dates. If the both of you harbour,
say, a love for science, then head to a science-themed exhibition in town! It will
show you're creative and that you paid attention to her interests.
This article was first published on DUET magazine.