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Is Love at First Sight Real?

Two couples share how they knew their relationship was “the one”.

 By April Zara Chua

Is love at first sight real or is it just something that happens in movies? We ask two couples to weigh in on the matter – and received surprisingly candid answers!

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How did you meet?

David: My former boss and her boss are cousins, and we met when they organised combined company lunches.

What were the first three things that came to mind when you first met?

Yu Ru: Mysterious. Older and more matured. Cute.

David: I definitely thought she was cute. Quiet. And very intriguing.

Was it love at first sight?

David: Yes, I was definitely strongly attracted to her.

Yu Ru: Not for me! I didn’t really notice him at first because there were other people in the room. And, he wasn’t my type – yet. But as I got to know him better, the attraction grew.

David, how did you know it was love and not infatuation?

David: I knew it was real when we became very understanding of each other. She’s accepting of my character, even after she saw that I had a quick temper. We accept each other for who we truly are – that’s how I knew this was for keeps.

Yu Ru, how did you eventually come to fall in love with him?

Yu Ru: With time, as we hung out more often, he began to open up and I got to know him better. I liked that he was always helpful towards other people, always thinking about their needs.

How did your relationship grow from love at first sight to a deeper, more lasting love?

David: We’ve been through many life-changing events together. Once, I took up a job that required me to take a pay cut. Yu Ru supported me financially and emotionally throughout this period. There were also times when I couldn’t make it to important family events due to work, but never once did she take it personally. She understands that there are things beyond our control, and we always try our best to understand each other’s situations. There is mutual trust.

Yu Ru: I went through a period where work was tough and nothing was working out. All I talked about was work when we were together, but he listened to all of it patiently. He even gave me advice on how to deal with my difficulties. I discovered he was really someone I could rely on, someone patient enough to listen to my frustrations.

How did you know you had found the one you wanted to be with for life?

David: It was when we had our first fight, not long after we became a couple. We both realised that we wanted to resolve it and work through our issues together.

Yu Ru: Our first fight made me realise that I was willing to be more accepting of him. That was really a defining moment for me – realising I was willing to compromise for him. That was when I knew he was the one.

Are the qualities that first attracted you to each other as important now, two years later?

Yu Ru: There’s so much more that I love about him. I like his passion for his work, and I love that he gives his best to whatever he does. He also encourages me to always be the best version of myself.

David: Yes, and more. She really knows what I need and want, which I cherish greatly. I love her selflessness; she’s willing to lay everything down for me – and I’m willing to do the same for her, too.

Do you believe at love at first sight? What would you say to those who don’t believe it exists?

David: I believe it exists. The only reason some people say it doesn’t exist is that they don’t look for it. If you don’t look for it, you will never find it.

Yu Ru: Yes. They need to experience it for themselves. Some people think love at first sight is just a crush or infatuation, but if you meet the right person, it can be lasting love.

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How did you meet?

Nicholas: We got to know each other through a dating app.

What were the first three things that came to mind when you first met in person?

Nicholas: I thought she looked better in real life than in her pictures. A little unapproachable. Guarded.

Shu Hui: It was awkward. He dressed well. I also had to remind myself that he was a stranger and that I had to be on my guard.

Was it love at first sight?

Nicholas: Yes, but it was probably not your typical love at first sight based on looks. It was more of a personality thing, and I discovered we had the same sense of humour.

Shu Hui: No, but I was attracted to the effort he took in getting to know me, his looks and his sense of humour.

Nicholas, how did you know it was love and not infatuation?

Nicholas: I’d been in relationships before, so I knew what I wanted in my next one. Shu Hui fits everything – she is loyal and kind-hearted. These qualities matter to me.

Shu Hui, how did you eventually come to fall in love with him?

Shu Hui: He was very consistent in trying to get to know me better. He was also very sweet and considerate – so it wasn’t that hard to fall in love with him!

How did your relationship grow from love at first sight to a deeper, more lasting love?

Shu Hui: We found that not only did we go together really well, but that we hold very similar values. This helped cement our relationship. Of course, it did not hurt that we both share the same sense of humour!

Nicholas: It was by building on what we had. We do disagree on certain things, and while we compromise as much as possible, it never feels like we are giving in. We are our most genuine selves with each other and we never need to put up any front. This was crucial in building our relationship.

How did you know you had found the one you wanted to be with for life?

Nicholas: I knew I wanted to marry her when we hit the six-month mark. We had been spending time together every day and yet, it didn’t feel stifling. It gave me a preview of our married life. At 10 months, I proposed.

Shu Hui: For me, it came naturally. It was that constant feeling of being really comfortable with him, and I found myself asking if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. There wasn’t a definite turning point, I just knew.

Are the qualities that first attracted you to each other as important now, two years later?

Nicholas: I regard personality as a much more important trait now… looks are lower on the rung.

Shu Hui: Now, what’s important are our appreciation for each other and effort in understanding and caring for each other. You can’t do without all of these in a long-term relationship.

Do you believe at love at first sight? What would you say to those who don’t believe it exists?

Nicholas: Yes, I believe it exists, though maybe not at first sight, but at first date. “First sight” does sound a little superficial – you do need to get to know the other person a little bit more.