The bedroom in one’s childhood home is not where most people envisage popping the question, but the location felt perfect for introverted Steven.
He had scoured the internet for ideas: there was a car he had thought about renting, while a suite in Marina Bay Sands has become passé. In the end, Steven was thankful that he had chosen his bedroom because Shu Hui said “yes.”
Online Dating 101
Both 30 years old, Steven and Shu Hui feel that online dating is worth a try, even though experiences vary widely.Steven wasn’t the only guy Shu Hui met in this manner, although she admits that the first was a disaster. Steven dabbled in online dating for a couple of months before meeting Shu Hui, so he is convinced that shy singles like him have nothing to lose setting up a digital profile. “Who knows — you could meet ‘The One’,” he surmises.
To deepen the relationship, meet-ups would have to shift from the virtual world to the physical. “When we met, I found out that she smiles a lot. I couldn’t have sensed this online,” says Steven. “You’ll eventually want to learn more about each other in person.”
Sole Mates
That first date took place at an art exhibition on Christmas Day in 2012, and things went swimmingly: they were equally engaged by the pieces on display, and dinner was pleasant.
However, when Shu Hui excused herself to go to the washroom, she was horrified to discover that the soles of her shoes were missing. “How can this happen on our first date?” she exclaims at the memory. To her surprise, Steven offered to go shoe shopping with her, extending their date beyond dinner.
That embarrassing episode turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Shu Hui got to see Steven’s considerate side — besides agreeing to go shoe shopping with her, he helped to discard the crumbling pair on her feet. On the other hand, the incident gave Steven something to focus on, easing his nerves. “Helping her with her shoes really calmed me down,” he reveals.
Shu Hui chimes in, “And because of this, our first date went smoothly.”
Opposites Attract
About two years after their first date, Steven and Shu Hui got hitched, and have been living together since. Married life, they share, is no different from dating — they just get to see more of each other! These two lovebirds agree that their polar-opposite personalities is not an issue that needs resolving; with a little patience and understanding, they can learn to live with each other.
“Opposites attract,” insists Steven. “She’s sociable and cheerful but I’m
not; I seldom mix around. So her personality is attractive to me, and makes a greater impact on me.” He then quips, “Shu Hui goes out a lot, but she makes time for me.” Adds Shu Hui, “I don’t mind being the chatty one while he doesn’t mind providing a listening ear — it’s a win-win situation.”
To people seeking a lasting, happy relationship, Steven and Shu Hui have this piece of advice: “Singles should move on from chatting online so that they can really get to know someone; they need to have that courage. For an existing relationship to last, it’s really about taking time to understand your partner’s perspective and iron out differences, because there will always be opposition and friction.”
This article was first published on DUET magazine.